Frequently-Asked-Questions about FunkyRocker.com

Funky Rocker™ Design Plans

Do-It-Yourself was never this much fun!

These are Supplemental Plans

Original Funky Rocker™ Design Plans are required

Supplemental Plans Only

Original Funky Rocker™ Design Plans are required

What materials will I need to build Funky Rocker™?

Funky Answers to Frequently Asked Questions

Is Funky Rocker™ durable?

Funky Rocker's main construction uses sturdy, medium density fiberboard, or MDF. MDF is an easy to cut, drill, route, seal, and paint material, and is commonly available at most home improvement stores. Funky Rocker's hardware list includes coated steel bearing arms (typical of glider rockers), stainless steel fasteners, and foam and vinyl covering for the "pilot's" seat - all are available on the internet. The vacuum lock type toy adaptor (e.g. Doc Johnson brand) is available online; many different and exciting toys are available for this type adapter.

Of course. Funky Rocker™ is designed to be durable. The main structural pieces of Funky Rocker™ are sturdy 3/4" MDF. In addition, Funky Rocker's hardware was selected to be rugged, smooth in operation, and commonly available in the unlikely event any parts need replacement. In fact, Funky Rocker's construction is made to rely on joints with sturdy mechanical fasteners, rather than weak glued or screwed joints found in low quality furniture. If properly sealed, painted, and cleaned with a soft, damp cloth, Funky Rocker's finish will be beautiful for all the cumming years.

If you have any questions concerning Funky Rocker™, please don't hesitate to contact us at Funky_Rocker@hotmail.com. Our friendly customer service staff will be happy to help you.

Is Funky Rocker™ adjustable?

That's the real engineering beauty of Funky Rocker™ - it's adjustable to your heart's desire. Funky Rocker's design improves upon other designs by providing for three important adjustments. #1 - Dildo Size: Some like'em long, some like'em short. From 6 inches to 10 inches, Funky Rocker™ is adjustable so that no matter the length, you'll get maximum use of your dildo. #2 - Stroke: Now we're talking. Funky Rocker's handle provides a simple and fast way to adjust for as little as 3" of stroke, up to a raging 7" of stroke. #3 Dildo Angle: Try to find this in a sex rocker - Funky Rocker™ permits adjustment of the dildo angle, forward, backward, upward, your choice. This adjustability can enhance curved dildos, or make the straight ones morph into highly accurate, and powerful cruise missiles. No matter where it is, Funky Rocker™ can zero in on that sweet spot! That's three types of simple, yet satisfying adjustment. Mmmmmm - but who's counting - You will !

Will my favorite dildo work with Funky Rocker™?

How does Funky Rocker™ work? How is Funky Rocker™ powered?

How hard is it (to build)? What tools do i need to build Funky Rocker™?

YES! (Oh Yes!...... how do we know?) Funky Rocker's use of common vacuum lock dildos (e.g. Doc Johnson brand) gives you flexibility. At last count, there were over 30 different sizes, shapes, and levels of "nauty-ness" available. Plus... Funky Rocker's toy adapter can be easily modified, as a separate component, so it can be tailored to hold your favorite suction cup or strap-on type toy.

Funky Rocker™ converts the natural rocking motion of your body, while in a seated position, into useful thrusting motion for your favorite dildo. Speed, stroke, and "wiggle" are under your full control since its power source is You. Funky Rocker™ is not only amazing to look at, it's mechanism is a wonder to watch - if you like that sort of thing. Plus - no electricity, no batteries, and no rocket boosters are needed. Come and join the "Go Green" movement to save our precious natural resources with Funky Rocker™.

We need to "get real" here, you're not going to build Funky Rocker™ with a Swiss Army Knife, cardboard, and some duct tape in a single afternoon. Funky Rocker™ is a moderately complex project, but very straightforward due to the clarity of the design plans. A garage woodworker with some level of competency in the use of simple power tools should have no problem with the project, but it does take some time. Think of it as building a beautiful model car or ship; take your time and follow the directions, and you'll have a thing of beauty to be proud of. Bonus: You or your partner will get to impale themself, in absolute relentless ecstasy, on the model when you're done! Reccomended tools include a small table scroll saw, drill press with sharp drills and Forstner bits, router, a few good clamps (nipple clamps are optional), and a close eye for accurate measurement, detail, and quality. Most sanding is reccomended by hand, and priming/painting is by spraycan. Everyone's skll level is different, but there's nothing too complicated here for most. Plans are supplied full scale and can be printed as such (in whole or in pieces) and used as accurate cutting patterns.

Does Funky Rocker™ require maintenance?

Unlike your automobile, there are no tires to change, and no belts to replace if that's what you mean. Funky Rocker™ is nearly maintenance-free, if assembled properly. Quick to clean and no batteries required. For maximum pleasure, some users have indicated that a thorough lube-job can enhance operation on narrow highways. Caution: Slippery when wet - which apparently happens a lot!

Is Funky Rocker™ noisy?

Well...the Funky Rocker™ itself isn't noisy. Bearings and bearing arms, when packed with lubricant properly are nearly silent and very smooth in operation. The Funky Rocker™ itself is so quiet that you'd never know it was in operation in the room next to you or above you. Tests have indicated that its nearly impossible to keep the operator quiet though; we hope you understand.

Is Funky Rocker™ as fun to use as it looks?

You betcha! Like a fine automobile - the ride is absolutely "delicious". Once you've ridden this masterpiece, your partner is going to be soooooooo jealous. Unlike a horse, this Rocker is so Funky you can ride it forwards, backwards, slow, fast, hard, soft, with other toys (e.g. vibrators), or without. It's so fun you may find yourself showing off, "Look Ma, no hands" - though you may find you can use those hands for other more interesting things now that they're freed up! In fact, Funky Rocker is so easy to use, you could be blindfolded, gagged, with your hands tied behind your back, and you'd still be able to use Funky Rocker - stroke after glorious stroke!

This site is operated by funkyrocker.com. Funky Rocker™ is not Doc Johnson, the manufacturer of the Vac-U-Lock® line.

nor are we owned, operated by, affiliated with or endorsed by Doc Johnson. Funky Rocker™ is not Monkey Rocker™, nor are we owned, operated by, affiliated with or endorsed by Monkey Rocker™

Disclaimer: This information is for novelty use only. Although the information here is presented in good faith and believed to be correct, the author makes no representations or warranties as to the completeness or accuracy of the information. This information is supplied upon the condition that the persons receiving same will make their own determination as to its suitability for their purposes prior to use. In no event will the author be responsible for damages of any nature whatsoever resulting from the use of or reliance upon information from this document, or the products or designs to which the document refers. The author does not warranty the accuracy of this information and has no liability for any errors or omissions in the information. This information is provided on an "as is" basis. No representations or warranties, either expressed or implied, of merchantibilty, fitness for a particular purpose or of any other nature are made herunder with respect to information or the products to which this document refers. Drawings are subject to change without notification.

I've searched all over the internet asking:

How can I build a Monkey Rocker™ ?

Where can I find Monkey Rocker™ plans ?

Has anyone built their own Dildo Rocker ?

Does anyone sell plans to make a Fucking Machine ?

Funky Rocker™ Design Plans at FunkyRocker.com is the answer to all of these questions. There are hundreds of dead end internet searches every day for "Monkey Rocker™ plans", or related searches for homemade fucking machines for mostly less than aesthetically pleasing designs. Funky Rocker™ Design Plans are the only answer you'll find because Monkey Rocker, Pleasure Rocker, and others just don't have plans they're willing to sell. Funky Rocker is not a copy of these, because it's better. It's design provides easy dildo position adjustment for every possible rider's desire, allows the builder to modify the design, and is made from readily available materials and components found on the internet. The cost for Funky Rocker™ Design Plans is reasonable too.

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How do I print out the plans if I only have a "letter" or "A4" size printer?

Not a problem - Its easy! While Funky Rocker Design Plans are provided in full size format for large format printers, printing them on "Letter" or "A4" size in pieces to make full size templates is very straightforward. Instructions are as follows:

Use free Adobe Reader XI available at this link >>http://www.adobe.com/products/reader.html.

Select Page Setup (lower left) and verify your preferred paper size is selected (e.g. letter, A4, tabloid) depending on your printer's capabilities. Select OK to return to main print window

Select "Current page" or specific page number; we don't recommend "All" unless you know exactly how it will print (repeat for each page you wish to print)

Select "Poster" button. Set / Verify Tile Scale is 100% (very important !!)

Set Overlap to at least 0.25" (depends on your printer and may require experimentation)

Select whether or not you want "cut marks" or "labels" (user preference)

Select Portrait or Landscape depending on your preference for layout (preview will help)

....and you're on your way to making someone very happy :)

How do I download Funky Rocker™ Design Plans?

It's a snap! Once your PayPal transaction is complete, you will be automatically prompted to download the Funky Rocker Design Plans from our host server (E-Junkie.com). In addition, you will receive a separate email with a link to the host server if you need to re-download at some time in the future. To date, our customers have reported zero problems downloading Funky Rocker Design Plans once the transaction is complete - we're very proud of the reliability of our download service. So, with that said............. Read On For The Good Stuff : )

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I just bought my Funky Rocker™ Design Plans; where are they?

If you have already purchased our Funky Rocker™ Design Plans and/or the Extreme DP Upgrade Plans - Thank You! Please check your email "Inbox" for the automatically emailed links to the E-Junkie server where you can download your plans right away; don't forget to refer to the email for the proper password to access your plans. If you did not receive an email after your purchase, please make sure you are looking at the same email address used by your PayPal account, and also in your "Junk" or "Spam" mail folders as sometimes our emails end up there. Additionally, plans should be downloaded on a normal desktop or laptop PC; some tablet based computers running Apple or Android systems have problems downloading the password protected plans from the E-Junkie website. Overlooking these areas results in the occasional customer email to funky_rocker@hotmail.com wondering where the plans are.